The Observer: Up close and professional with the world’s leading intimacy coordinator

Ita O’Brien reveals why respecting the sex scene benefits not just actors, but all of us. Read the interview by Eva Wiseman for The Observer.
Ita O’Brien reveals why respecting the sex scene benefits not just actors, but all of us. Read the interview by Eva Wiseman for The Observer.
Read the deeply honest conversation between G Ode founder Gillian Anderson and pioneering intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien. For G Ode Issue 01 – Freedom of Fantasy founded by Gillian Anderson. Two women on opposite sides of the camera are quietly, radically changing the way stories about sex, power and consent are told – and why every one of us stands to benefit.
I’m absolutely thrilled to be appearing at the Edinburgh International Book Festival this year to talk about my new book, Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires.
This event—number 653—will take place on 15 August 2025 from 18:45 to 19:45 at the Edinburgh Futures Institute.
In Intimacy, I share the practices I’ve developed as an intimacy coordinator on productions like Sex Education and I May Destroy You, offering tools to help everyone—whether in relationships, single, or somewhere in between—reconnect with their body, their boundaries, and their desires.
I can’t wait to delve into this conversation in a city that holds such a rich cultural legacy, and to meet readers who are curious about creating safer, more connected relationships in every part of life. Hope to see you there!
Event Number – 653
Date: 15 August 2025
Time: 18:45 – 19:45pm
Venue: Edinburgh Futures Institute
Find out more and book tickets at the Edinburgh Book Festival’s website and their Instagram.
I’m thrilled to share that I will be launching my new book, Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires, at the Southbank Centre on Sunday, 8th June at 2pm.
I will be in conversation with journalist and broadcaster Pandora Sykes, known for her insightful cultural commentary. This event promises an engaging discussion on the evolving landscape of intimacy, both on-screen and in our personal lives. It’s a unique opportunity to hear from two leading voices on how we connect with ourselves and others.
10–11am: BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour with Naula McGovern – programme info
11.30am–12pm: BBC Radio 5 Live with Naga Muchetty – programme info
Tune in to BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour on Monday 2nd June, from 10–11am, to hear Ita O’Brien, renowned intimacy coordinator and founder of Intimacy On Set, in conversation with Naula McGovern. Listen live on BBC Radio 4 or catch up later via BBC Sounds.
Then head to BBC Radio 5 Live from 11:30am to 12:00pm, as Ita O’Brien joins presenter Naga Munchetty for an insightful conversation. They’ll delve into O’Brien’s pioneering work in creating safer, more respectful environments for actors in film, television, and theatre, and discuss the broader impact of intimacy coordination on storytelling and performance. Don’t miss this engaging discussion on the evolving landscape of on-screen intimacy. You can listen live on BBC Radio 5 Live or catch up later via BBC Sounds.
I was absolutely delighted to take part in this year’s Hay Festival, a special place for me, having attended for the past 20 years. On Friday 30 May, I had the pleasure of joining journalist Lucy Knight on the Wye Stage for a rich and thought-provoking conversation about intimacy on screen and its wider impact on our real-life relationships. Drawing from my experiences working on productions such as Sex Education and I May Destroy You, we explored how carefully crafted intimate scenes can promote healthier, more authentic connections—with ourselves and with others. It was an honour to contribute to such an important discussion at a festival that continues to inspire and challenge in equal measure.
In a recent feature for The Sunday Times Magazine, journalist Matt Rudd explores the transformative potential of Ita O’Brien’s intimacy practices beyond the screen. Renowned for her work on productions like Sex Education and Normal People, O’Brien has pioneered methods to ensure actors perform intimate scenes with authenticity and respect. Now, she’s extending these principles to everyday relationships through her new book, Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires.
Rudd recounts his personal experience applying O’Brien’s exercises, such as eye-gazing and heart-to-heart hugs, with his wife of 20 years. These practices, though initially awkward, aim to rebuild emotional and physical connections that may have faded over time. O’Brien emphasizes that true intimacy requires presence, consent, and vulnerability, challenging societal norms that often prioritize spontaneity over communication.
The article highlights how O’Brien’s approach encourages couples to engage in small, consistent acts of connection, fostering deeper and more sustainable intimacy. By bringing her on-set expertise into the realm of personal relationships, O’Brien offers a roadmap for couples seeking to rekindle their connection.
This May, Ita O’Brien attended the Deadline Disruptors x Cocktails on the Croisette event during the Cannes Film Festival. This industry gathering, held at The Members Club (La Plage 45), brought together influential figures from the film industry to celebrate innovation and storytelling. Notable attendees included director Robert Connolly and actor Mark Duplass. The event provided a platform for industry leaders to discuss the evolving landscape of cinema and the importance of creating respectful environments on set. Cannes also brought Ita a wonderful opportunity to meet up with Girls on Film to discuss linking together again for some exciting future collaboration.
We’re thrilled to announce that Ita O’Brien—renowned intimacy coordinator and founder of Intimacy On Set—will soon be joining Lorraine Candy and Trish Halpin on Postcards from Midlife. In this upcoming episode, Ita shares her pioneering work in creating safer, more respectful environments for actors in film, television, and theatre. With her expertise featured in productions like Sex Education and Normal People, Ita offers invaluable insights into the importance of intimacy coordination in the entertainment industry. Tune in to hear her discuss the evolution of her career and the impact of her work on modern storytelling.
The episode will be available soon on all major podcast platforms, including Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Visit the Postcards from Midlife website for the release date.
You can now pre-order Ita’s book – Intimacy: A field guide to finding connection and feeling your deep desires – with foreword from Gillian Anderson.
You can also join Ita in an upcoming event at the Southbank on June 8th 2025 to discuss the secrets of the trade in conversation with Pandora Sykes.
“A vital contribution to our understanding of intimacy both on screen and in life.”
Gillian Anderson | An Evening Standard ‘Book to Watch’ for 2025
From the initial spark of attraction when your eyes first meet, to spontaneously dancing together in the kitchen and falling asleep side by side – how do we create those intimate moments of connection?
As a pioneering Intimacy Coordinator, Ita O’Brien has choreographed some of the most groundbreaking, passionate and vulnerable intimate scenes onscreen. From Normal People to I May Destroy You, and in so many more productions, she has also made these scenes safer, more joyful and more empowering to perform in. No one knows intimacy, the power of true connection, better than her.
So, what can her work teach us about our own relationships, both with ourselves and others? How can we use her tools to discover what it is that we truly want in our intimate lives? And how can all of this create environments in which intimacy can take seed, grow and even thrive?
Combining embodied wisdom, behind-the-scenes stories and exercises for connection, Intimacy offers us a field guide to discovering our desires, communicating our needs, and cultivating truly intimate relationships at every stage of our lives.
Watch the new trailer for Ita’s recent Intimacy Coordination work on The Roses – starring Olivia Coleman & Benedict Cumberbatch.
Madrid (EFE).- Ita O’Brien began dancing on stage at the age of ten and is now an Intimacy Coordinator for shows such as the opera Theodora, which opens this Friday at the Teatro Real: “Without a clear choreography, it is more difficult to report that someone has shoved their tongue down your throat,” she stresses.
The British actress is the first expert in the field to attend the Madrid theatre for the performance of Handel’s staged oratorio about a Christian martyr forced into prostitution from 11 to 23 November, but according to sources at the Teatro Real she will not be the last, as it is planned to hire this type of advice in the future whenever it is considered necessary.
“The arrival of Theodora at the Teatro Real marks the first time that an opera production in Madrid has included an Intimacy Coordinator on the production team, in charge of ensuring the physical and emotional safety of all those involved in a show that, in London, was sold with serious warnings…”
Manuel Cuéllar speaks to Ita O’Brien about her work on Theodora for Teatro Real, Madrid.
Emily Bader – star of Amazon Studios’ new TV series My Lady Jane – talks to Vulture about onscreen chemistry and keeping love scenes sexy with “our amazing intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien”…
Ita O’Brien talks to The Guardian about her recent pioneering work with Gran Teatre del Liceu in Barcelona – one of the first opera houses in Europe to work with an intimacy coordinator.
The Independent’s Isobel Lewis talks to Ita O’Brien about the “teen show sexual revolution” and her industry leading work creating some of the most realistic depictions of sex on screen in recent years – from Normal People and It’s a Sin to I May Destroy You.
It must have been quite a scene to get through. Could you share more about what your experience on set was like?
Yeah, sure. When I was reading the script, I completely forgot that I was going to be the one doing that particular scene. It was a lot to take in when I finally realised. But in reality, I was so looked after; on set, we had the most incredible intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien. She is an absolute legend in the intimacy coordination world and she physically held my hand, looked after me and my performance would not have turned out the way it did without her being there.
I’ve been doing this acting thing for eight years now, and intimacy coordinators weren’t really a thing when I first started out so I have been in situations where I felt uncomfortable or compromised. But for this, O’Brien just made sure I felt safe and comfortable, despite the fact that I was sitting there with my legs wide open—which is quite a weird thing to find yourself doing all day long.
Within his own profession, although there has been progress – some “good shifts” recently – in the industry’s handling of sexual harassment, there is always going to be more to do, he said. “In our business, there’s a greater sense of freedom and safety to express and to be heard.” He cited the use of intimacy co-ordinators, who help choreograph sex and nudity scenes, and which have become more commonplace onset in the last few years. In particular, he hailed the work of Ita O’Brien, who was the intimacy coordinator on his most recent film and who wrote the ‘Intimacy on Set’ guidelines now used as best practice within film, theatre and television.
“There was something immediately boundary-making about [it] —– we were suddenly given a really firm playpen by this amazing woman who was creative, sensitive and clear. We knew — myself and the actress I was working with – that if there was any issue, that issue was going to be very, very short lived. Thank God there wasn’t. But that’s a very hard job. It’s a very sensitive job. It’s a really vital thing to have a safe pair of hands to go to, to talk to,” he said.
“You need to make sure that everyone feels safe.”