Blog Archives - Intimacy on Set

Esquire: Paapa Essiedu Felt a Sense of Responsibility in Showing a Sexual Assault He'd Never Seen on TV

30/6/2020

ESQ: What does the process of working with an intimacy coordinator look like?

PE: I honestly cannot imagine a world where you do scenes that demand this level of intimacy without an intimacy coordinator. To me, it’s insane. You would never film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon without someone on set whose job it is to make sure you don't cut someone's head off. I think intimacy coordinators are crucial in that same way. Ita O’Brien was our intimacy coordinator; we had some sessions with her long before we started filming. Those sessions were all about us being clear with what we were comfortable doing and what we weren't comfortable doing. We talked about how we could navigate our individual safe zones emotionally, mentally, and physically in order to create a scene that does justice to what's written on the page. Ita is all about empowering, safeguarding, and liberating performers. It felt like a liberated, freeing environment to do what is on the surface a very demanding task for an actor.

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BAFTA Guru: The Making of I May Destroy You with Michaela Coel and Co-Stars! | TV Q&A

27/6/2020

i-d: Michaela Coel’s bloody tampon scene is disrupting the period-sex narrative

24/6/2020

By Rosie Humphrey

Working behind the scenes on achieving this realism is Ita O'Brien, an intimacy co-ordinator who recently worked on the similarly-acclaimed Normal People. Over Zoom she broke down what made the scene so very powerful and disruptive. "When you look for intimate scenes that feature menstruation, I haven’t found any where you can actually see the journey through to intercourse, with all the paraphernalia, the pads, the tampons and the clot being acted out," Ita says. “I have to thank Michaela for writing this for all the women in the world. What I love about the scene is that it’s not a big deal. She mentions it, it’s not sensationalised, it’s not horrific. In fact, the character of Biagio, his curiosity and interest is just so ground-breaking."

The scene was not just groundbreaking or educational for audiences either. "In my preparation with Marouane, who plays Biago, he was asking 'really, really does this happen?', and we were having a laugh about it", says Ita. "I said to Marouane, who is just the most beautiful soul, the madness is that half of the population in the world spend on average 40 years of their lives menstruating. That’s roughly 480 weeks in the lives of every person who menstruates and of course, that’s going to include our love-making and our sexual expression within some of those 480 weeks -- and when have we seen that on screen?"

Ita’s right. With options ranging from the scene in Superbad, which shows Jonah Hill’s character repeatedly gagging after finding period blood on his trousers, to the “heavy flow and a wide-set vagina” classic in Mean Girls, relatable period-sex content is hard to come by. This is why, as Ita explains, “it was very clearly written that, as the pants are coming off, Michaela wanted the pad to be seen. And then, as she's sat on the toilet, she’s seen putting the pad in [her pants], so again all of that paraphernalia that women go through is written as part of the fabric of Arabella’s everyday life and then in her intimate content. That is so important.”

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Vulture: I May Destroy You’s Weruche Opia Became Instant Friends With Michaela Coel

22/6/2020

By Monica Castillo

Since the show focuses on issues around consent, what was it like preparing for intimate scenes on set? Were there intimacy coordinators involved?

I prefer not to act out sexual scenes, so I had a body double in that scene — a very great body double, because some people think it was me. So I certainly didn’t act out any of that, but there was an intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien, and she was really great. It was a very respectful environment. Only the people involved were there. Though I wasn’t allowed in the room at that time, I did get to know what was going on. I was told what was going to go on, as it was my character who was going to be portrayed. It was a very comfortable and safe space.

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Evening Express: Nicholas Hoult: Intimacy coordinators a good thing for the industry

22/6/2020

The actor, 30, said he had been stripping off on screen for a long time, including, aged 17, in Channel 4 drama Skins.

Having an intimacy coordinator oversee sex scenes on The Great, a new TV miniseries about Catherine The Great, was a refreshing development, he said.

“This is the first job I’ve had that on and it’s a very positive change in the industry. It’s almost like having a stunt coordinator,” Hoult told GQ Hype.

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Hollywood Reporter: 'Sex Education' Star Asa Butterfield Says Working With Intimacy Coordinator Helped Cast "Find Our Boundaries"

21/6/2020

by Lesley Goldberg

Sex Education was the first Netflix show to use an intimacy coordinator (Ita O'Brien). How did that help you play out scenes in which Otis becomes more comfortable with masturbation and his girlfriend, Ola (Patricia Allison)?

It was helpful to have someone to talk to if you don't feel comfortable or if you don't necessarily want to bring something up or you're embarrassed. A lot of my scenes were me, by myself. For my five-minute masturbating scene, I didn't actually feel like I needed to work with her because I had a good idea of how that might play out. (Laughs.) But for scenes with Patricia — we met at the end of season one, but we didn't know each other before then — Ita helped us find our boundaries.

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Hollywood Reporter: On the Set of 'Normal People': Cast, Crew on Creating "Close, Intimate" Places for an On-Again, Off-Again Romance

21/6/2020

by Natalie Jarvey

Nailing those scenes was crucial given how much Marianne and Connell's relationship is grounded in sex. To create the right environment, production brought in intimacy coordinator Ita O'Brien. Once both actors were comfortable, Abrahamson says he tried to shoot the sex scenes like he would any other scene. "If anything, what's radical about Normal People is that they move from conversation to lovemaking in a way which doesn't involve a split stylistically," he says. "I'm primarily interested in their faces. I'm primarily interested in tracking their emotions."

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The Telegraph: 'Rogue' sex scene experts threaten progress made by MeToo, warns Normal People intimacy director

20/6/2020

By Craig Simpson

Rogue sex scene experts on film and television sets threaten the progress of the #MeToo campaign, the intimacy coordinator for BBC series Normal People has warned.

Ita O’Brien, who also choreographed intimate scenes for Gentleman Jack and Sex Education, prevents actors crossing personal boundaries and ensures they do not feel victimised by their co stars.

She believes romantic scenes should be treated "like a stunt of a fight" and is training a generation of sexual stunt workers to ensure performers can act without inhibition or exploitation.

Ms O'Brien noticed a rise in dubious practitioners on sets encouraging actors to take part in scenes without appropriate consent and warns it will ruin progress made by the #MeToo movement.

“People have jumped on the bandwagon,” Ms O’Brien told The Telegraph.

“I’ve had people that started training with me who then felt ‘I know what I'm doing’ and set themselves up as fully accredited.

“I feel aghast, because I know they are not, and haven’t got the experience.

“We don’t want to have situations where someone is going on set who is claiming that they have experience that they don’t have, and something concerning happens.”

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“We don’t need to pussyfoot or feel embarrassed about the intimate content,” Ms O’Brien added.

“We need someone with skills and body awareness to choreograph hand holds, rhythm, how we physically make this.”

By not having these skills rogue practitioners risk compounding awkwardness and the risk of sexual transgression on set.

Ms O’Brien believes by making actors feel more comfortable actors sex scenes will become more realistic, diverse, and more celebrated, without viewers being offended or cringing on their sofas.

She said: “We need more of the reality and the beauty of our sexual loving on screen.

“It allows stories like Normal People and Gentleman Jack to be told.

“Writers tell me they can now write the scenes that I want because there is structure that means it can be created professionally.”

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Arts Review: Friday essay: training a new generation of performers about intimacy, safety and creativity

19/6/2020

The training sector must embrace the important role of the intimacy director. Like fight directors, choreographers or stunt co-ordinators, this role focuses on the need to remove risk and ensure the highest possible standards of safety on film and theatre sets as well as in the TV studio.

Excellent work is being done in this area by organisations such as Intimacy on Set which offers a range of training packages as well as advice on ensuring safe working practices and protocols.

Ita O’Brien, the organisation’s founder, stresses the importance of establishing a safe working environment:

An injury can go from purely physical, to emotional and psychological – when someone’s body has been handled and touched in a way that is not suitable for that person … intimacy coordination work is about everybody being in agreement and consent … and about absolutely every detail serving character, serving story telling.

Referring to her work as Intimacy Coordinator on the BBC/Hulu adaptation of Sally Rooney’s award winning novel, Normal People, O’Brien points to the vulnerability of the drama’s young leading actors (Daisy Edgar-Jones and Paul Mescal) and offers an insight into how she approached early rehearsals.

Actors want to give their best. They want to say yes, but we had to create an atmosphere where they didn’t just say yes because they felt like they needed to …Everyone had the novel, so they knew what was required, but were they happy with it?

In my first rehearsal with director Lenny Abrahamson, and leading actors Daisy and Paul, I gave a presentation and showed all of them our intimacy guidelines. Then we worked on a scene that felt like a body dance. When we were done, everybody left knowing that everything would be handled in a professional way.

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Express Digest: Forget Normal People! Millennials rave over new edgy BBC drama I May Destroy You

19/6/2020

With scenes of threesomes, drug use and sexual assault, I May Destroy You is the ‘brilliant’ and ‘dark’ drama millennials are watching now that Normal People is finished. . .

Ita O’Brien is a British movement director and intimacy coordinator for film, TV and theatre. She coached the actors in the BBC Three series Normal People and BBC One’s I May Destroy You and Netflix’s Sex Education.

In 2017 she released a set of Intimacy On Set Guidelines outlining procedures to keep actors safe while filming scenes of nudity or sex.

She told FEMAIL: ‘Working with an Intimacy Coordinator will start in pre-production, during the rehearsal process.

‘A production brings in an intimacy coordinator to choreograph the intimate content. I will first talk with the actors and director about the scenes, about the characters and storyline and what the creative vision is.

‘Then I will talk to the actors and establish agreement of consent and touch and most importantly, where is the “no”.

‘With this knowledge of boundaries, we are able to create a safe structure within which to choreograph the intimate content, the beats of the scene, the shapes, and the actors are then free to do what they do best: act.’

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Yahoo: Normal People's intimacy coach reveals how she got her job

18/6/2020

What do Normal People, Sex Education, Gentleman Jack and I May Destroy You have in common? Besides being undeniably brilliant TV shows, they all portray engaging and accurate sex and intimacy – and that’s largely down to Ita O’Brien.

As the pioneering creator of Intimacy on Set Guidelines, she works in theatre, TV and movie sets to choreograph simulated sexual scenes within a safe and supportive environment. It’s a fascinating job, so we asked her how she got there…

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The Conversation: Friday essay: training a new generation of performers about intimacy, safety and creativity

18/6/2020

By David Shirley

The training sector must embrace the important role of the intimacy director. Like fight directors, choreographers or stunt co-ordinators, this role focuses on the need to remove risk and ensure the highest possible standards of safety on film and theatre sets as well as in the TV studio.

Excellent work is being done in this area by organisations such as Intimacy on Set which offers a range of training packages as well as advice on ensuring safe working practices and protocols.

Ita O’Brien, the organisation’s founder, stresses the importance of establishing a safe working environment:
An injury can go from purely physical, to emotional and psychological – when someone’s body has been handled and touched in a way that is not suitable for that person … intimacy coordination work is about everybody being in agreement and consent … and about absolutely every detail serving character, serving story telling.

Referring to her work as Intimacy Coordinator on the BBC/Hulu adaptation of Sally Rooney’s award winning novel, Normal People, O’Brien points to the vulnerability of the drama’s young leading actors (Daisy Edgar-Jones and Paul Mescal) and offers an insight into how she approached early rehearsals.

Actors want to give their best. They want to say yes, but we had to create an atmosphere where they didn’t just say yes because they felt like they needed to …Everyone had the novel, so they knew what was required, but were they happy with it?

In my first rehearsal with director Lenny Abrahamson, and leading actors Daisy and Paul, I gave a presentation and showed all of them our intimacy guidelines. Then we worked on a scene that felt like a body dance. When we were done, everybody left knowing that everything would be handled in a professional way.

Locally, actor Michala Banas is working behind the scenes at Melbourne Theatre Company as an intimacy coordinator and cites O'Brien as a mentor.

If we are to guarantee the physical, emotional and psychological safety of our students during rehearsals and performances, then the guidance of an Intimacy Director is no longer an optional extra, but an absolute necessity.

Intimacy coordinator Ita O'Brien conducted workshops with actors in Australia last year.

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Net-a-Porter: Modern Love

16/6/2020

By Katie Berrington

She also notes the equality between the on-screen couple, even as the power dynamics shifted throughout the plot. “There’s the idea that Marianne knows her mind and floors him a lot in conversation, therefore arguably she has the power in conversation. But when it comes to intimacy, she feels empowered by the way she feels so open and vulnerable to Connell. That was a really interesting thing to explore.”

Their on-screen chemistry and realistic sex scenes are part of what has drawn such praise for the series, with Ita O’Brien responsible for the intimacy direction. As part of the generation whose experience of the film and TV industry has been mainly in the wake of movements shedding light on the treatment of women, Edgar-Jones is amazed that it wasn’t always the norm.

“You need more protection because it is a stunt, with physical maneuvers that you need to make look realistic – just like in a fight scene,” she explains. “Mentally, it’s a really vulnerable place to put yourself in. You need to feel like you have the control and agency in those moments, so that you can feel relaxed and give a better performance. If we didn’t have Ita, those scenes wouldn’t be nearly as passionate… Paul and I could always speak up if we wanted to.”

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Royal Television Society: Michaela Coel: Personal and provocative

10/6/2020

Coel says that, during the shoot, “memories of something that was deeply traumatic” were erased by the joyful experience of working closely with the production crew: “I imagine that when you climb Everest you feel this same overwhelming sense of love, euphoria and gratitude.”

The production hired Sex Education’s intimacy co-ordinator, Ita O’Brien, and used closed sets to shoot scenes with explicit sex and sexual violence. It also offered therapeutic support to the cast and production crew.

“Because of the nature of the material, there was a lot of discussion with the cast, even before filming started. There were rehearsals and workshops with Ita,” explains Troni. “In the old days, there were those terrible stories about people turning up on the day and being told, ‘You’re doing a sex scene – take your clothes off.’

“Nothing was sprung on people. There are amazing roles in I May Destroy You, but we didn’t want to put the actors in positions that they were uncomfortable with.”

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BT: Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You: How I Made It

8/6/2020

By Alex Fletcher

The series doesn’t hold any punches with its look at the partying, drugs and app-loving sex lives of modern Britain and renowned intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien (Netflix’s Sex Education) was brought in to help ensure the safety of the cast and crew.

“Ita’s the top of the game in creating an atmosphere where actors can perform,” said Essiedu.

“Some of those scenes are fun, some of them are less fun and warm. But to go there, you have to know what the playing field is. Where everything goes, when and how. What you feel comfortable touching and where you feel comfortable being touched.

“The alternative to that is just approximating and hoping for the best. Which is just wild. You would never do that if you were doing a fight scene, so why would you do that with a sex scene.”

Opia used a body double for her sex scenes in the show and credits everyone involved in the production for making her feel comfortable to voice her discomfort.

“It was a very respectful space and I would never need to take things to one side,” she explained. “I’ve never experienced anything like that before and I really appreciate that.

Coel also helped loosen up any tensions on set by trying out lots of the most awkward scenes with her co-director Sam Miller, so she could have the same experiences at the cast.

“That takes away the line of directors watching actors do things,” she said. “Get stuck in and try things too. That set up a very nice, safe environment.

Talking about the significance of working with Ita, Coel said: “I think you have to be willing now more than ever as filmmakers to change things the moment you sense discomfort with actors.

“You have to keep trying and seeing if someone seems a little bit uncomfortable. I don’t know if you’ll always get it right, but you have to relentlessly make sure. By the time it comes on TV, you want the actors to feel proud rather than cringing at a memory of when they had to do something they weren’t comfortable with. That ruins it for them.”

Alongside Ita, a therapist was on standby for anyone who felt overwhelmed by the events of the series.

“It can trigger memories for anyone. Even people in the crew,” said the writer. “Everyone had access to them.”

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The Telegraph: Weruche Opia interview: 'I'm not comfortable with nudity or sex scenes'

7/6/2020

The actor discusses making compromises for the BBC's eye-opening new sexual consent drama I May Destroy You

By Catherine Gee

But Opia, who is a committed Christian, drew the line at being nude on camera while filming the threesome. Fortunately, there was a solution. “I had a body double for that scene. I'm not comfortable with nudity or sex scenes,” she says breezily over video chat from Barnet, north London, where she’s riding out lockdown with her brother and mother. “[She was] a lovely lady called Lana. She was brilliant. I think if I ever have anything like that again, I'm going to be calling her.”

As is becoming increasingly common in the current climate, the producers brought in Ita O’Brien, the intimacy co-ordinator who worked on the BBC’s Normal People and Sex Education on Netflix to make sure the actors felt safe and comfortable during the explicit moments. At the end of the threesome scene, the two men who had given Terry the impression that they didn’t know each other and that this was a spontaneous event, leave together – suggesting that they hadn’t been honest with her.

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The Irish Times: Michaela Coel on sexual assault: My friends’ stories made me realise I was far from alone

6/6/2020

SCREENWRITER, MUSICIAN, POET, PLAYWRIGHT AND BAFTA-WINNING ACTOR MICHAELA COEL IS BACK ON TV NEXT WEEK WITH HER NEW BBC DRAMA I MAY DESTROY YOU. IT IS THE MOST PERSONAL THING SHE HAS EVER DONE

By Shilpa Ganatra

The sex scenes – of which there are plenty, Liveline listeners be warned – were overseen by Ita O’Brien, the intimacy co-ordinator/movement director who also worked on Normal People. Coel believes that society is in a time and place where the inclusion of intimacy co-ordinators on set should be standard.

“And on this show, because it’s exploring consent, it seems fitting that we had a director whose sole purpose was to help us with the intimacy, to empower the actors, to make sure there were no awkward feelings, and that we were all comfortable and happy,” she says. “There was no other way. Some of the scenes were really delicate, and it can go wrong so easily.

“A month before shooting, we talked around a table, we talked about consent, we talked about our lives. Then there’s a transition where you have to make the transition from sitting at the table and being in your head, to being in your body. The space between those things is difficult because we live in our heads so much. That’s Ita’s magic.

“She also brings with her this bag of protective gear. She has these pads that you put around your delicate parts so that when you’re having to do all these difficult interactions, you don’t see anything. We opted for those because it meant we could go as far as we wanted to go, and our actual physical bodies wouldn’t be triggered.

“When we were on set, the great thing about Ita is that she doesn’t care that there’s a clock ticking. If the actors need private time, if they need to connect to each other, she’ll demand that time, and that time will happen.”

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I: Paapa Essiedu: 'You might assume because it’s London in 2020, everyone accepts everyone for who they are. We know it’s not like that'

4/6/2020

The actor on why Michaela Coel’s new drama series is so vital and why it is important to tell stories which are ignored by the mainstream

By Gabriel Tate

The sex scenes were shot with the assistance of Ita O’Brien, intimacy co-ordinator on Normal People and Sex Education. “She’ll overrule anyone to protect you,” Essiedu says. “This show asks challenging questions about consent across the full spectrum of orientations, genders and sexual preferences, so we need to be sure what we’re consenting to as well.”

The focus on sexual consent – without a condom, while high, while on a period – ensures that few of the many explicit encounters end in the way you might assume at the outset. Each one demands that the viewer musters their own interpretation of what happened. It will probably present a challenge to BBC1’s traditional audience – all the more reason, argues Essiedu, for them to show it.

“Michaela’s so great at getting across simple, universal situations that are ignored by the mainstream. It’s vital people have conversations off the back of it.”

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The Irish Times: Body trouble: How to keep actors safe while filming sex scenes

4/6/2020

By Tanya Sweeney

After working on her own project exploring the dynamic of sexual abuse, titled Does my sex offend you?, O’Brien realised that something had to change.

“I started my project in 2015 and was looking at how do we keep actors safe and what practices needed to be put in place,” she reveals. “When the Weinstein thing happened [as a number of women came forward to highlight instances of harassment at the hands of movie producer Harvey Weinstein], I was ready to say to directors, ‘Here are the guidelines. This will give you a professional structure in order to do intimate content in a professional way.’”

With directors and producers keen on fostering a safer workspace, O’Brien soon found herself hired as an on-set intimacy co-ordinator. After “choreographing” the sex scenes on Gentleman Jack, Watchmen and Netflix’s Sex Education, O’Brien recently worked on Normal People, the TV adaptation of Sally Rooney’s novel, along with director Lenny Abrahamson.

“I can’t imagine doing things like that without Ita,” its star, Daisy Edgar-Jones recently said. “There was a sense with Ita in charge of the physical stuff, that all we had to worry about were the story beats, and doing the writing justice. Then, it becomes like a job. You’re such good friends with the crew that you do a scene like that, then you break for lunch. It’s a bit odd.”

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Vancouver Courier: 'Normal People' director Lenny Abrahamson used intimacy co-ordinator on set

2/6/2020

By Victoria Ahearn

"It turns the usual thing on its head. Normally sex is the thing that's problematized. But actually their sexual relationship is so immediate and good, which was one of the things I thought was such an opportunity in the novel — although there is other stuff in the novel which isn't positive — to at least be able to show sex as this potentially transformative, positive and amazing thing in a real way rather than some sort of glamorized way.

"But it did present a challenge, because it has to be done in a way that feels not salacious and feels positive and creatively owned by the cast."

To do that, Abrahamson and fellow director Hettie Macdonald worked with intimacy coach Ita O'Brien, whose deft approach involved choreographing every move.

Arahamson says some film shoots invite the actors to improvise.

"And that's not cool, because that's putting way too much pressure on the actors and between the actors to choreograph themselves. But even if the director is deeply involved, it can be tricky," he says.

Two young actors can also feel pressure to say yes to certain things so as not to disappoint an established director, Arahamson says.

"Once those structures are clear, the actors are free to play them really naturally, because they're not worried about where their hands are going to go or they're not worried about looking terrible or them giving away something personal," Abrahamson says.

"They become like ballet dancers or like life-drawing models. That seems to liberate and once again they turn into actors and they play the scene. It's really magical to watch it, and I think it's why the scenes look so real."

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Radio Times: I May Destroy You cast say a “safe” environment was crucial for sex scenes

2/6/2020

By Flora Car

Speaking to RadioTimes.com, the BAFTA-winning actress and writer (who stars in and co-directs the drama) said that she wanted to avoid the stereotypical scenario of directors simply “watching” their actors perform sex scenes.

While working with an on-set intimacy coordinator, Coel rehearsed the same positions that would later take place during a sex scene starring co-star Paapa Essiedu, who plays an attractive but insecure gay man.

“When we were doing rehearsals with Ita [O’Brien, the show’s intimacy coordinator]… it became, [with] some of Paapa’s scenes, where I would also want to try it, to see if it was safe,” Coel said. “And then I would say to my co-director Sam [Miller], ‘Come on let’s try it and do what they’re doing, so that we can feel that it’s safe’, because it also then takes away this line of directors watching actors do things, it was kind of like, ‘No, no, get stuck in and try it too,’ and I think that set up a very nice, safe environment.”

In the same interview, Essiedu said that, given that I May Destroy You is “about consent”, it was only fitting that the cast felt empowered to speak up if they felt uncomfortable.

He said, “Especially a show like this which is about consent, you know, it’s about the line where consent is; as an actor, as a performer, I think you should feel empowered to say, ‘This is what I’m comfortable doing, and this is what I’m not comfortable doing,’ and that was the conversation from the jump-off.”

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