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Intimacy on Set

Rolling Stone: Is Reality-TV Sex Safe?

24/3/2023

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Intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien has been working with filmmakers in Hollywood since 2017. She boasts a long list of credits including scripted series like I May Destroy You, Normal People, Sex Education, Watchmen, Conversations with Friends, and Master of None. O’Brien, a leader at the forefront of her industry, said she hasn’t heard much of anything about her role translating onto unscripted productions, but that the possibilities for improvement could be “endless.”

“It is really interesting, this question of the duty of care that’s put in place for people who offer themselves up personally in the service of entertainment and how those people are taken care of in that place,” O’Brien told Rolling Stone. “I know producers do have a duty of care and they do have things put in place, but I do think it would be an exciting place to continue to explore.”

O’Brien emphasized that film sets are people’s workspaces and should be treated as such. There’s been an incredible shift in the entertainment industry with the development of intimacy guidelines, and she said she’d love to see the same done for reality TV. Sometimes, according to O’Brien, “in the adrenaline of the moment you think everything’s fine,” but the aftermath can feel differently.

“I do think in this area it would help to have someone who brings the fundamental tenets of open communication and transparency and agreement and consent and that journey in, and bookending that journey out and checking in afterward,” O’Brien said. 

“I do think in this area those aspects of the intimacy guidelines would be really useful to someone who’s there and going, ‘These are all the things that could possibly happen. Yes, you could end up possibly having intercourse under the covers live in front of the cameras, yes you could agree to be in your bikini and the guy being in his boxer shorts, kissing, being fondled,’ and just going, ‘Have a think, what is OK for you? Most importantly, what isn’t OK for you?’ And then in advance just thinking of your boundaries.”

O’Brien recently worked on Magic Mike’s Last Dance, talking to audience members who appear in the film’s final dance scene about their comfort levels receiving lap dances from actors. She used this as an example of what intimacy coordinating could possibly look like in the unscripted space because in this instance she wasn’t dealing with trained actors, but it was her job to check in with everyone before and after filming to make sure they were on the same page about “the journey to clear transparency on what they might experience.”

“At the end of the day, they have to step away from that program and go back into their personal lives and look at that nugget of what they’ve offered in that time for entertainment and make sure that during that time, they haven’t overstepped their own boundaries so it doesn’t damage them not just physically but emotionally and psychologically,” O’Brien said.

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Deadline: ‘Normal People’ & ‘I May Destroy You’ Intimacy Coordinator Launches World’s First Intimacy Practice Degree

20/3/2023

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Ita O’Brien, the pioneering Intimacy Coordinator who has worked on the likes of Normal People, I May Destroy You and Sex Education, has founded what is being called the “world’s first degree in intimacy practice.”

O’Brien’s Intimacy on Set outfit has joined with the Mountview Academy of Theatre Arts on the two-year course, which will teach best practice in the fast-growing world of intimacy co-ordination and help build and support professionals in the increasingly crucial role. The formal nature of the training recognizes recent developments in the industry, for a role that was barely heard of a decade ago.

O’Brien, who has led the charge to improve intimacy co-ordination on TV and film sets, said: “Intimacy practice is a young profession, and whilst awareness of its existence has grown considerably in the last few years, deep understanding of good practice is missing.

“To ensure we develop a profession which can proudly grow with excellence we need to be able to train talented individuals who can navigate the both physical and emotional journey that each actor will go on, and can responsibly and safely deliver the intimate content as envisioned by the director, the storytelling and each character.”

The course has been forged in partnership with the University of East Anglia and will begin in September.

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Yahoo Entertainment: We Talked to Intimacy Coordinators About Penn Badgley’s Viral Anti-Sex Scene Comments

15/2/2023

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Penn Badgley shared last week that he’d requested that the number of intimacy scenes in You Season 4 “go from 100 to zero,” explaining that “fidelity in every relationship, and especially my marriage, is really important to me.” While sex scenes for his character, serial killer Joe Goldberg, remain in the season, there are certainly fewer; the scenes lack close-up shots, and clothes mostly stay on.

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I reached out to Steinrock and another intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien, to chat about Badgley’s comments, the surprising backlash they’ve drawn, and the role of intimacy coordinators in building scenes around these kinds of boundaries.

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O’Brien, a UK-based intimacy coordinator who founded Intimacy On Set to train other coordinators and pioneered the role in 2014, told me she’s worked with actors who have different agreements with partners on what they will and won’t do when filming intimate scenes. “I had an actor recently who, in conversation with their wife, said their boundaries were, ‘I don’t want to touch anybody’s breasts or nipples,’” O’Brien said. “He said, ‘This is what my requirements are,’ and because that was so clear, everyone could respect that, we could honor those requirements, and ensure they were honoring their relationship.”

According to O’Brien, it’s not uncommon for actors in relationships to have specific boundaries and conditions for intimacy scenes based on their relationships. She told me the work of fulfilling these needs is about “comfort, consent,” and even “joy.”

“When we’re inviting agreement and consent in all these areas, it means we can all work openly, creatively, feeling empowered,” she said. “That place of feeling safe and thus free creates really beautiful, intimate content.”

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Stylecaster: What Does an Intimacy Coordinator Do? They Make Actors Feel Safe ‘Just Like In A Fight Scene’

15/2/2023

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Intimacy is a powerful and valuable storytelling tool, but it requires a great deal of care and can become problematic if not handled properly. When Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan’s film 50 Shades of Grey came out in 2015, it created a great deal of buzz around its steamy sex scenes and encouraged healthy conversations about kinks and consent—even though the film’s portrayal of such as been criticized by some experts. 

Intimacy is a complex concept. At the 2023 Sundance Film Festival, intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien, author Lisa Taddeo (Three Women, Ghost Lover) and Barry Jenkins (Producers, All Dirt Roads Taste of Salt, Moonlight), participated in a frank discussion about what intimacy looks like in artistic collaboration and how to navigate a space of great closeness in a professional environment. 

When talking about intimacy, we’re not just talking about sex. “There are different levels of intimacy,” said Jenkins at the panel. “It’s important to break down and distinguish the levels and kinds of sexual, spiritual, intellectual and emotional intimacy that exist and what they look like on screen.”

To ensure that certain scenes are shot in a way that is safe, respectful and consensual, many productions are now turning to intimacy coordinators, like O’Brien, to oversee the process. Intimacy coordinators are professionals who meticulously work with actors, directors and production teams to plan and execute “choreography” that all participants feel comfortable with. This also means creating scenes that follow the fundamental tenets of the Intimacy on Set Guidelines.

“The most important aspect of the guidelines is that intimate content is akin to a stunt or a fight. Just as in a fight scene, preparation, rehearsal and bringing good technique is vital,” O’Brien told StyleCaster. “An Intimacy Practitioner (IP) will work creatively with the director, just as a stunt coordinator does, to serve their vision and create a brilliant piece of work.”

When it comes to intimate content involving nudity, or simulated sexual content, O’Brien explains that there is a risk of participants feeling harassed, abused or awkward if not handled professionally. Therefore, the fundamental tenets of the guidelines are open communication and transparency, and agreement and consent of touch and consequently creating clear steps so that the actors are all aware of what will happen.

Even with clear instructions and choreography, coordinating intimacy onscreen can be intimidating for talent who are often shooting scenes where a number of people (cast, crew, lighting, camera operators, etc.) are watching or involved. Content that involves darker content like sexual assault or rape differs from coordinating consensual, loving moments between actors, in that it requires heightened awareness and care concerning the actor playing the victim and the actor playing the perpetrator.

“Before the filming of any non-consensual scenes begins, all of the discussions exploring areas that might make an actor feel vulnerable have already taken place and we create the risk assessment accordingly. Of course, there’s a possibility that this could be triggering and not just for the people who are performing, but possibly anyone who’s involved. It’s important that everyone involved feels safe and that actors can ask for ‘time outs’ during filming,” she added. She also intentionally checks in with the actors for any support they need a few days after the filming.

O’Brien is the implementer. She brings her skill and knowledge of anatomy and choreography to work with all involved participants to create a scene that is realistic. Sometimes that means creating scenes that are not frequently seen. “I worked with Michaela Coel on I May Destroy You and choreographed all the different intimate encounters and explored the different aspects of consent, power play and boundaries. The period sex scene was so exciting, showing the reality and the paraphernalia of engaging with intimacy whilst we are menstruating. This is rarely seen and yet is a fundamental part of all women’s lives. It’s this kind of content that really excites me as a practitioner and it’s so important this reality is shown on our screens.”

O’Brien’s work is not limited to adults, either. As part of her work with the hit show Sex Education, she worked with parents and guardians of minors to navigate the scenes and ask for their guidance. “I must remain open and flexible if it’s not quite right for that production or only a part of the process is required. I must then adapt to support the actors or director in a way that is right for them. Our job is to serve, to be a conduit and to facilitate open conversations,” she explained.

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LBC: Intimacy coaches on Hollywood film sets are 'absolutely essential' to protect young women, says Emma Thompson

10/2/2023

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'The crew will be 90% men...'

Emma Thompson says there is absolutely no 'parity' on film sets, which makes it so important to introduce intimacy coordinators on set to 'protect' young women and help them feel comfortable.@AndrewMarr9 pic.twitter.com/TbbbUtNqG7

— LBC (@LBC) February 9, 2023
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Time: Why Aren't Movies Sexy Anymore?

3/2/2023

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Last Dance is the first post-#MeToo Magic Mike. It contends male strippers help women feel empowered. An entire dance is set to the song “Permission.” “We wanted to reflect the conversation that we’re hearing,” says Soderbergh.

Because sex scenes have long been made by and for men, studios may fear that sexy movies are inherently sexist movies. Revelations like Maria Schneider’s story of feeling violated while filming Last Tango in Paris changed the way Hollywood shoots a sex scene. Filming safely now involves hiring an intimacy coordinator to choreograph the scene and ensure the actors’ comfort.

 . . .

There’s more sex on TV than ever. The high schoolers on HBO’s Euphoria are having messy sex, joyless sex, and, occasionally, satisfying sex. White Lotus interrogated the interplay of desire, money, and power. On Netflix’s Sex Education teens explore their urges and sexuality. “Television for decades had to contend with standards and practices and pretty strict censorship,” says Kidman. “With streaming, there’s no ratings, no limitations.” TV has also broken out of the bounds of the straight, white relationships that still dominate film.

. . .  

Intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien, who was on set for Last Dance, says it can be hard to tell a tale of intimacy in a two-hour format. She points to Hulu’s Normal People, which she also worked on, about young people who fall in and out of bed with each other as their circumstances shift. “Can you imagine that being a film?” asks O’Brien. “Twelve episodes allow you the chance to get at the depth, the complexity, the intensity of that relationship.” Similarly, Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You needs six hours to explore the gray areas of consent.

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Times Radio: Jane Garvey and Fi Glover interview Ita O'Brien

10/1/2023

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The Hindu: Harriet Warner on ‘Dangerous Liaisons’: ‘I had to be sure there was something new to say’

7/1/2023

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With all the steamy scenes in Dangerous Liaisons, work was cut out for the intimacy coordinator. “Intimate scenes are hard for everyone. For directors, it is wonderful to feel that they can focus on the story that is being told through the intimate scene, without worrying about the logistics.”

It is reassuring for the cast to have a safe space, Harriet adds. “The role of an intimacy coordinator is not only to coordinate the scene, but to make sure that people feel heard and they are comfortable with what they are doing. We were very lucky with Ita O’Brien who did an incredible job and was key to the show.”

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Screen Daily: Micheal Ward on ‘Empire Of Light’ nude scenes: “If Jude Law can do it, I can do it!”

13/12/2022

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When filming began in February this year, Ward and Colman’s differing processes dovetailed neatly. Ward “had done a lot of work to understand Stephen — I knew the text and was super-prepared”. Colman “is incredibly raw — we go to set and read it once or twice, and she just knows it. It’s electric.”

The production brought in intimacy co-ordinator Ita O’Brien (TV’s Sex Education) to guide the duo through several sex scenes. “It felt like a dance routine,” says Ward. “We would do counts — ‘and one, and two’. If you were getting too invested to the point where I’m becoming Micheal rather than Stephen, you just go back to the counts. It’s quite magical.”

This rhythm helped Colman overcome initial nerves about the scenes, which the actors again approached from differing perspectives that mirrored their characters’ emotions. “Olivia was so uncomfortable that I felt nervous for her,” remembers Ward, “so [the counts] got us to a place where we could tell the story in the most amazing way.” Conversely, Ward had few qualms about the scene where Stephen sprints naked onto an empty beach. “I’m there for the story,” he laughs. “I watched The Talented Mr. Ripley with Jude Law. He’s got an arse scene — if Jude Law can do it, I can do it mate!”

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The Guardian: ‘I want my monkey!’ Ruth Wilson on villainy, intimacy and returning to His Dark Materials

12/12/2022

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It [True Things] feels like a radical statement, from a deceptively quiet film: not everything that goes wrong is because of some bad man. “A lot of people talk about it as a gaslighting toxic relationship. It wasn’t really – she’s the driving force. She’s the one that essentially chooses, decides to pursue him. She’s gonna get what she wants. And when she does get it, she’s, like: ‘Nah, I don’t want it.’ It’s not romantic at all,” Wilson concedes, “but it felt quite honest.”

Nor is it full of nude scenes, maybe contrary to the expectations set up by the fact that it had the same intimacy co-ordinator – Ita O’Brien – as Normal People. Wilson recalls that the director said: “I don’t really care about nudity. To me, that’s not where intimacy is. Yes, nudity is beautiful and wonderful and can be really ugly, and can be all the things you want it to be, but we’re exploring the dynamic between two people – they don’t have to be naked.”

The whole culture around sex scenes has changed a lot, even in the past couple of years. It was as recently as 2018 that Wilson left The Affair – the show, also starring Dominic West, for which she won a Golden Globe – and she’s reticent about it (citing, in the past, a non-disclosure agreement), but there were some allegations at the time of inappropriate behaviour.

Wilson says intimacy coaches have completely changed the game, too, though. “We have proper discussions: what the director is hoping to achieve, what the actors feel comfortable doing and not doing, and how do we really get that anyway? What is the scene actually trying to make happen between the two people in that moment? Because it should be as conversational as any other scene. Sex is so interesting, and so detailed, and so specific to the relationship you’re having with that person and yourself at the time within your life. It really should be as nuanced as that.”

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