Read the deeply honest conversation between G Ode founder Gillian Anderson and pioneering intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien. For G Ode Issue 01 – Freedom of Fantasy founded by Gillian Anderson. Two women on opposite sides of the camera are quietly, radically changing the way stories about sex, power and consent are told – and why every one of us stands to benefit.
Photo (C) to thisisgode.com
In a recent feature for The Sunday Times Magazine, journalist Matt Rudd explores the transformative potential of Ita O’Brien’s intimacy practices beyond the screen. Renowned for her work on productions like Sex Education and Normal People, O’Brien has pioneered methods to ensure actors perform intimate scenes with authenticity and respect. Now, she’s extending these principles to everyday relationships through her new book, Intimacy: A Field Guide to Finding Connection and Feeling Your Deep Desires.
Rudd recounts his personal experience applying O’Brien’s exercises, such as eye-gazing and heart-to-heart hugs, with his wife of 20 years. These practices, though initially awkward, aim to rebuild emotional and physical connections that may have faded over time. O’Brien emphasizes that true intimacy requires presence, consent, and vulnerability, challenging societal norms that often prioritize spontaneity over communication.
The article highlights how O’Brien’s approach encourages couples to engage in small, consistent acts of connection, fostering deeper and more sustainable intimacy. By bringing her on-set expertise into the realm of personal relationships, O’Brien offers a roadmap for couples seeking to rekindle their connection.
The role of the intimacy coordinator has become more important in the wake of the Harvey Weinstein allegations and the broader #MeToo movement. Ita O’Brien works on the set of a short film, Keep Breathing, breaking down the choreography of a sex scene to ensure the wellbeing of the actors and create a clear language and process
Madrid (EFE).- Ita O’Brien began dancing on stage at the age of ten and is now an Intimacy Coordinator for shows such as the opera Theodora, which opens this Friday at the Teatro Real: “Without a clear choreography, it is more difficult to report that someone has shoved their tongue down your throat,” she stresses.
The British actress is the first expert in the field to attend the Madrid theatre for the performance of Handel’s staged oratorio about a Christian martyr forced into prostitution from 11 to 23 November, but according to sources at the Teatro Real she will not be the last, as it is planned to hire this type of advice in the future whenever it is considered necessary.
“The arrival of Theodora at the Teatro Real marks the first time that an opera production in Madrid has included an Intimacy Coordinator on the production team, in charge of ensuring the physical and emotional safety of all those involved in a show that, in London, was sold with serious warnings…”
Manuel Cuéllar speaks to Ita O’Brien about her work on Theodora for Teatro Real, Madrid.
Emily Bader – star of Amazon Studios’ new TV series My Lady Jane – talks to Vulture about onscreen chemistry and keeping love scenes sexy with “our amazing intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien”…
Ita O’Brien talks to The Guardian about her recent pioneering work with Gran Teatre del Liceu in Barcelona – one of the first opera houses in Europe to work with an intimacy coordinator.
The Independent’s Isobel Lewis talks to Ita O’Brien about the “teen show sexual revolution” and her industry leading work creating some of the most realistic depictions of sex on screen in recent years – from Normal People and It’s a Sin to I May Destroy You.
It must have been quite a scene to get through. Could you share more about what your experience on set was like?
Yeah, sure. When I was reading the script, I completely forgot that I was going to be the one doing that particular scene. It was a lot to take in when I finally realised. But in reality, I was so looked after; on set, we had the most incredible intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien. She is an absolute legend in the intimacy coordination world and she physically held my hand, looked after me and my performance would not have turned out the way it did without her being there.
I’ve been doing this acting thing for eight years now, and intimacy coordinators weren’t really a thing when I first started out so I have been in situations where I felt uncomfortable or compromised. But for this, O’Brien just made sure I felt safe and comfortable, despite the fact that I was sitting there with my legs wide open—which is quite a weird thing to find yourself doing all day long.
Within his own profession, although there has been progress – some “good shifts” recently – in the industry’s handling of sexual harassment, there is always going to be more to do, he said. “In our business, there’s a greater sense of freedom and safety to express and to be heard.” He cited the use of intimacy co-ordinators, who help choreograph sex and nudity scenes, and which have become more commonplace onset in the last few years. In particular, he hailed the work of Ita O’Brien, who was the intimacy coordinator on his most recent film and who wrote the ‘Intimacy on Set’ guidelines now used as best practice within film, theatre and television.
“There was something immediately boundary-making about [it] —– we were suddenly given a really firm playpen by this amazing woman who was creative, sensitive and clear. We knew — myself and the actress I was working with – that if there was any issue, that issue was going to be very, very short lived. Thank God there wasn’t. But that’s a very hard job. It’s a very sensitive job. It’s a really vital thing to have a safe pair of hands to go to, to talk to,” he said.
“You need to make sure that everyone feels safe.”