Blog Posts

SBS News: Before #MeToo the job title didn’t exist. Now, intimacy coordinators are becoming the norm on set

14/5/2022

Intimacy on a television or movie set can be many things. It may include a hug between an older married couple, someone changing a nappy, a medical or historical scene that involves nudity, a fleeting hand graze, a simulated sex scene.

When the director of photography is focused on getting the best shot, the producer is making sure production is on schedule and on budget, and the actor is fixated on giving their best performance, consent can get lost or diluted.

Until the #MeToo movement, the job title 'intimacy coordinator' was virtually non-existent, and the work mainly existed in diluted forms. Even now, there's just a handful of accredited intimacy coordinators in Australia.

But demand is growing, intimacy coordinator Chloe Dallimore told The Feed.

"Now for many of the big organisations we are embedded in the OH and S (Occupational Health and Safety) policy," Chloe said.

“I challenge everyone to actually sit and watch the credits on productions and see how many have an intimacy coordinator because it's on almost every production.”

More . . .

Irish Mirror: Conversations With Friends star Lenny Abrahamson says film industry had to 'clean up its act' when shooting sex scenes

13/5/2022

Award-winning film director Lenny Abrahamson has said the industry has to “clean up its act” when it came to shooting sex scenes.

Lenny has directed a second TV adaptation of Sally Rooney’s Conversations With Friends, which airs next Wednesday on Rte One.

The ‘Room’ director who previously found global success with Normal People opened up about filming sex scenes – saying having Intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien on set helped make actors more comfortable.

He told us: “I think we have all heard stories from actors who haven’t had good experiences on set. Not necessarily abusive but situations where people feel uncomfortable and not supported.

“There was a feeling the industry had to clean up its act around a lot of this stuff. "Normal People was the first show of scale where an intimacy co-ordinator was used. I think the danger is, if you’re a renowned director that’s a bit older than the cast, as an example, you might say what you want to happen in this scene to a young actor.

“And maybe the actor doesn’t feel comfortable but doesn’t want to upset you? You don’t want people to feel like I’d better do it because I don’t want to upset. I have worked with actors who can tell stories about how it’s been. Directors who have said look I’m embarrassed to talk about this to the actors.

“You guys figure it out. That’s way too much pressure on two actors who may not know each other very well".

However having Intimacy co-ordinator Ita on set helped actors have comfortable conversations about sex scenes while filming Conversations With Friends.

Lenny said: "I have been always very tentative about approaching those scenes. Having an intimacy co-ordinator just provides a way of talking which gets past that. "Separately who is really encouraging the actors to be complexly candid about what they might feel good about doing.

“Then because nobody is feeling awkward or embarrassed it allows you to do good work. The actors are lending their bodies to the making of these shapes.

“On a practical level too, an intimacy co-ordinator knows about every form of padding and cover up on set which is good for the crew as well who could feel embarrassment".

More . . .

Independent.ie: Lenny Abrahamson leaves door open for TV adaptation of Sally Rooney’s third book

11/5/2022

He also spoke about the importance of bringing back intimacy coach Ita O'Brien for the new mini-series, which was majority funded by the BBC and Hulu in association with RTÉ.

He said that the "risky thing" in the old way of doing things is that a younger actor may automatically agree to something as they don't want to upset a more experienced director.

"There's always that worry so previously I've been very tentative about approaching those scenes. What having an intimacy co-ordinator does is just to provide a way of talking. You just get past that. The actors have somebody that they can talk to, separately, who is really encouraging them - as am I and everyone else - to be really candid that they might not feel good about doing.

"And with that confidence, you can actually go about thinking about the scene. It's like dance choreography. We are all about the making of images we are all collaborating on that.

"The actors are lending their bodies to the making of the shapes. And when you think about it like that, it stops it becoming an awkward, embarrassing pretend. it becomes more of a dignified thing where all of you are very respected in that context and very listened to."

More . . .

Empire: Conversations With Friends Review

10/5/2022

By Ella Kemp

Normal People was so affecting because of the microscopic focus on Marianne and Connell, with empathetic performances from Daisy Edgar-Jones and Paul Mescal somehow capturing everything Rooney confessed on the page. Conversations has a more difficult job – as did the book – to honour the inner lives of four different people, led by the most reluctant, pessimistic and guarded of the group.

There are still tender moments, and brief flashes of light – intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien teams once more with director Lenny Abrahamson to give sex scenes, mainly between Frances and Nick but also Frances and Bobbi, great emotional heft, telling their own story just as clearly as the dialogue and unspoken yearning of everyone’s body language. Kirke and Lane prove just how vital satellite characters can be to a story of knotty, difficult romance. Alwyn struggles to rise to the material at times, at his best when Nick is finally given permission to break down and finally feel something, anything.

More . . .

Belfast Telegraph: Ciaran Hinds and wife guided by intimacy coordinator for scene in new TV show The Dry

8/5/2022

By Aaron Tinney

Ciaran Hinds has revealed an intimacy coordinator choreographed a sex scene with his wife on the set of his new TV show.

The Belfast-born actor (69) said the supervisor also worked with his actress daughter Aoife on the popular BBC show Normal People.

Ciaran and his French-Vietnamese actress wife Helene Patarot (68) are seen having sex against a wheelie bin in an alleyway in episode three of Irish-set comedy drama series The Dry.

He said about working with his partner of 34 years: “I did have a long chat with Paddy [Breatnach — the director] about that whole episode, and about the idea of people of a certain age getting it on behind the bins.

“But he convinced me not to be embarrassed by it because it had to be something quite shocking, but also odd and quite funny too.

“The odd thing is that we had an intimacy coordinator on set. You talk about how to deal with sexual situations and sexual issues, and how to feel comfortable together on set.

“She knew that we were married and said that we probably wouldn’t need any supervision.

“And indeed Helene had the time of her life, having such a laugh at it.

“But the curious thing was that the intimacy co-ordinator had been the intimacy co-ordinator for Aoife, too, on Normal People.

“So basically she has sexed up the whole family.”

Ciaran and Helene’s daughter Aoife (31) played Helen, the “other woman”, in Normal People.

More . . .

Irish Examiner: Meet Alison Oliver - the Cork star of Sally Rooney's Conversations with Friends

7/5/2022

BY MARY CATE SMITH

The first TV adaptation of Rooney’s work marked a huge departure for sex scenes on Irish and international television and in so many ways, it paved the way for more honest, raw storytelling around relationships. Conversations with Friends hit the ground running by hiring the Normal People intimacy coach, Ita O’Brien. While a whole host of film sets pre-dating the #MeToo era have been mired in controversy regarding sexual misconduct, Oliver says that this set was very professional and that she felt “100% safe at all times.”

Not only did O’Brien pioneer the role of intimacy coordinator on film and television sets, she also established a set of best practice guidelines for practitioners in the industry and introduced genital-shielding props to film sets. So, what exactly does an intimacy coordinator do? According to Oliver, there’s a lot of discussion around consent and expectations before any touching ever happens and to ensure that nothing touches anything it shouldn’t.

“Once you meet her, you’ll talk in depth about scenes that have an intimate nature and why we’re doing them. She’ll talk a lot about the quality of intimacy and the kind of story we’re trying to tell with this intimacy, which I think is really important. It’s very much about storytelling rather than showing – it’s very narrative-driven.” O’Brien looks at the beats of the scene says Oliver, and the “shapes you make to tell that story,” settling on a set of pre-agreed movements that look and feel authentic to the action and allow the actors to feel safe.

“By the time you actually do the scene, you’ve choreographed it so much and you feel the most safe you can. There’s such a respect and it’s handled in such a brilliant way.”

More . . .

The Guardian: Joe Alwyn on Conversations With Friends and sex scenes

30/4/2022

By Rebecca Nicholson

Alwyn had read Conversations With Friends and Normal People already, long before his involvement in the former. “I read Normal People before I knew they were making a show out of it, and I remember when I saw it thinking, I’d love to be in something like that.” Normal People’s sex scenes between Connell (Paul Mescal) and Marianne (Daisy Edgar-Jones) became such a talking point that people began to lust over Mescal’s silver chain, as if everything else about him had been exhausted. In Conversations With Friends, Nick has a heated affair with Frances, and Alwyn is fairly regularly, if tastefully, naked in it. “We were guided through it with an intimacy coordinator, Ita O’Brien, who is great,” he says. “They’re essentially choreographed. So they’re like fight scenes. They’re quite mechanical. And obviously they’re weird, funny, strange things to do with your friends. But when Lenny’s in the room, cracking jokes, and there’s 10 crew members around, and it’s freezing cold or boiling hot, it just takes all the sexiness out of it.”

More . . .

Elle: Just Between Friends

19/4/2022

By LAUREN PUCKETT-POPE

In the new Hulu series Conversations with Friends, Alison Oliver and her co star Joe Alwyn spark an onscreen chemistry too intense to ignore.

Walk me through what it was like working with your intimacy coordinator. How do you make those scenes feel as real as they do in the books?

AO: There’s a brilliant system in place for it, where [intimacy coordinator Ita O’Brien] will come into a rehearsal with us. We’ll discuss the scene: What’s the trajectory, and what’s the quality of intimacy? And why is it happening? It’s a continuation of dialogue, in a sense. It just becomes physical. So, from the get-go, [sex scenes] were presented to us as you would do a stunt and you’d choreograph that. We’d rehearse it loads. Ita would come in and suggest—Lenny would always talk about them as “shapes,” making different “shapes.” She would try out different ones, and then we’d copy her.

JA: Lenny always spoke about the [sex scenes] as extensions of conversations. They weren’t just there for the sake of it. Obviously, they’re funny and awkward things at the beginning. But once you get over that and you’re working with people you trust—and Lenny’s in the room, and Lenny is hilarious. You would want him on set in any scene.

More . . .

News18: All The Old Knives Director On Chris Pine-Thandiwe Newton's Intimate Scene: 'We Shot For Two Days' | Exclusive

7/4/2022

While the movie primarily revolves around the investigation of a hijack, it features a crucial intimate scene with Henry (Pine) and Celia (Newton) in the heart of it. The scene is an important turning point for the on-screen couple and the movie. Speaking about shooting the film, Pedersen revealed that an intimacy director was brought on sets for the shot and it was his first time working with an intimacy coordinator.

“This is actually the first time I worked with an intimacy coordinator because it is a fairly new thing in the industry and it was just a really great experience because you creating a situation where there’s a lot of, we really have to trust each other and feel that what we do together is safe and the fact that you have someone whose sole job is to talk to the actors about what feels good for them and what they like and where their personal boundaries are and also someone who could actually help to make it feel more sensual and more real because that’s her expertise, it’s almost like a stunt coordinator with specific expertise in doing intimacy work so for me it was a great help and I feel very proud and I know that Chris and Newton too (are) with what could achieve with that scene," he said.

The director revealed that the scene took two days to shoot. “We shot for two days, including rehearsals for that scene and it was such a wonderful moment of sharing something that was so important to the story and that’s also a real challenge to achieve, make and feel as real and profound as it does in this film," he said.

Pedersen explained that the scene was crucial for the film as the scene forms the ‘heart of the story’. Asked if Pine and Newton felt any hesitation before filming, the director said, “My sense was and how I remember it was we were all very humble and curious about how we could make that moment feel as profound as it is for Henry and Cilia and the story. It’s a great feat of acting for both of them, I was very honoured and proud that we could go to that length together to create that scene."

More . . .

Harpers Bazaar: Ruth Wilson: Queen of all she surveys

5/4/2022

Indeed, for True Things, she hired Ita O’Brien, the intimacy coordinator who has worked on Normal People, Sex Education and I May Destroy You. "In the past, people would avoid the subject of a sex scene and not talk about it until the day before, so you’d be left on the day to make it up as you went along," Wilson says. "At best, people felt awkward, and at worst, exploited or unsafe. An intimacy coach demands that the conversation happen with the director and actors in advance, so together you find a way to express that part of the story in a really honest, specific and safe way."

More . . .